“How many of you are gamers?” asked a post I stumbled on the other day in the r/AutismInWomen subreddit, and you better believe I was delighted to read through a chunk of the 900+ comments of females who identified as gamer-oriented. As an Elder Millennial, I grew up playing video games with my siblings — the original Super Nintendo, Nintendo 64, PlayStation, PC gaming when hard drives were 500MB, and even Dreamcast a few times. I have many a fond memory of playing The Sims (1 and 2) well into the night with my sister and cousin, laughing at the unrealistic mishaps of the nascent simulated humans. In essence, gaming brought me joy.
So as the years went by and I grew up, I wanted to hold on to that joy, even if games, or the idea of gaming, started to appear juvenile or young. Even though I am an early thirties cis-female who has a professional big-girl job, I am happy to identify as a gamer girl.
The games that got me through
I continued my love of The Sims through my early 20s. A lot of my time in a toxic relationship was spent playing The Sims 2 Seasons, fully revved up on Red Bull, while my ex-bf played Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II. Eventually I joined him in playing CoD, and we would battle online strangers in the game well into the night. He was a way better player than me, but that was ok—I found humor in it taking me 20 rounds for my n00b-a$s to finally eliminate an opponent, lol.
After we broke up (finally), I started discovering games that I enjoyed playing aside from The Sims. I will say I’ve never been one for fantasy games — Skyrim, World of Warcraft, Elder Scrolls, etc (ame goes for my movie taste.)
Reality is already full of monsters and goblins, I’d rather not have them in my escape from it as well.
At one point I was obsessed with Assassin's Creed II: Brotherhood. I was studying art history in community college at the time, and to be able to actually walk through and “live” in the world of the Medici’s and the Italian Renaissance was absolutely fascinating. When I needed a break from ancient times, I delved into Counter Strike: Source. Having worked a gruelling office job, I enjoyed battling the opposing team amongst filing cabinets and office corridors.
Then came my late 20’s, which included a cross-country move, experiencing love and heartbreak, getting a life-changing medical diagnosis, and a lot of growing up. But once I had the chance to settle into my life and get cozy, I immediately downloaded Steam. There, sitting in the queue waiting to be installed, were all my games, just patiently waiting for me to return once I was ready to play again.
Now I live with my boyfriend, and he is like, super professional. He’s basically a scientist and a researcher and he teaches. He’s a bit older, too, so he didn’t grow up gaming, and never gamed in his life. So I can’t help but feel a little, well, self-conscious when he finds me five, six hours deep into Red Dead Redemption II. Does he think I’m juvenile? Would my professional coworkers think of me differently if they knew that in my free time I loved to hole up in my corner and play video games, surrounded by Funyuns and Gatorade?
But spoiler alert: no one cares, lol. And my boyfriend is happy that I have something that brings me joy and laughter, which can be rare these days.
So get out there and live your life—via a video game character, of course.
Game on, girlfriend xx
who wrote this?
T. J. Charles (she/her) is a millennial writer and poet living in Manhattan. She loves all things NYC, her guilty pleasure is celebrity blind items, and she believes in kindness above all else. You can find more of her work at tjcharles.substack.com/
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I love this!! There is so much art and narrative in games, but i think bc they’re a slightly higher barrier to entry (like, you have to play them) gaming culture is more insular and doesn’t get the same respect as movies/tv/books/music. But they have so much joy and mental athleticism to offer. And esp bc girls are not nearly as socialized to play video games, I was so happy to read this piece today :’) game on girl 👾
omfffg i grew up on the sims!!! and now it’s turned into watching people play games on the website twitch - i love twitch because im not good enough to play any fast paced games that i love to watch