the universal cat distribution system, explained
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Maybe it’s coz I’m missing my cat back home, or maybe we all just need something a little bit cute to think about right now, but something compelled me to write about a phenomenon I’ve been seeing on social media for about a year now (and will always give my most emphatic double tap to): the universal cat distribution system.
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The universal cat distribution system is a very serious and important thing. It’s the universe sending cats or kittens to people who deserve them - it’s like, you don’t adopt the cat, the cat adopts you. For example: if you’re at work and you go outside for your lunch break and find a kitten under a bush, the universe has entrusted you with that kitten. If you’re out on a walk on your usual route and a cat decides to follow you home, and then just… never leaves, you now have a cat.
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Of course, as with any fair and functional system (actually, has there ever been one?) there are rules. You must make sure the cat doesn’t already have an owner (obviously), if there are a group of kittens you shouldn’t take just one (and you should look for its mother first), and if you do decide to take the cat the universe has sent you, you should take it to a vet and make sure it’s healthy and doesn’t already have a chip.
And I feel like I shouldn’t have to say it, but it’s the internet, so I will - this is not that deep. I am not telling you to bring home every cat you see on the street, or the one that adopts you on your holiday in Greece (this influencer actually got a BUNCH of hate for not taking home a cat she bonded with on her all-inclusive holiday) but I am humbly asking that if you have been chosen by the cat distribution system that you a) send me pics or 2) comment your story below.
Luce xxxx
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I moved into a house where the previous owner left behind their outdoor cat, so obviously we adopted her and continued feeding her in the laundry shed. A while later, I started hearing cat fights at night and around the same time a phantom alarm/smoke detector battery chirp going off occasionally. I investigate the laundry room and discovered a black kitten with the squeakiest voice.
Now, we don’t need another cat. We brought our indoor cat to the new house, happily adopted the preexisting tabby, but three cats is too many. Plus, the elder outdoor cat doesn’t seem to enthused by the kitten’s arrival.
I trap the kitten, bring her to the monthly cat spay/adoption event at the vet. Off to a loving home, I thought. THREE MONTHS LATER, cat fights at night, phantom squeaky sounds. The cat is back, this time with a clipped ear. Again the two outdoor cats just spat. My partner feels protective of the preexisting cat, because she *was* here first.
A few months later, a friend mentions their elderly black cat died and they’re looking for a black kitten. Friend, you are in luck! We have a spare black kitten! Give the kitten to the friend. It lasts approximately 4 hours before escaping the house. You guessed it, a month later that squeaky cat is back.
We are now officially a three cat household.
When I was working at a farmers market (where animals are not allowed) one of the vendors told me a kitten from their acreage had hitched a ride with them on their truck fuel tank (which is under the truck). It was a 2.5h drive on highways and he should not have survived, but he did and I took him home with me after they told me I could have him if I wanted. His name is Salem, and he’s now just over 2 years old! If I could attach a photo I would, but he’s a black cat with green eyes :)