This spoke to me so much. I have a friend who doesn't believe in blocking ex's or going no contact. I don't speak to and have removed contacts of almost every guy where things got intimate and it didn't end well, even if it didn't lead to a relationship. I think these boundaries are extremely important because once someone has wronged you in such a significant manner, they no longer deserve access to you or your life.
We very much do not have to be friendly with or about ex's. I'm 42 and friends with 1 ex because we were friends, tried to romance then went back to friends. It was surprisingly easy. The rest can stay the fvck across the Atlantic, i don't need any of them in my life and I don't need to use any of my energy or heartspace on them. I don't think about them at all unless I'm asked a specific question. So yes, I agree. We're much better off giving ourselves that compassion and kindness.
Yes! I think the desire to ‘stay friends’ is almost always driven by wanting to make things hurt less. It’s hard to break contact with someone who has seen you naked (literally and figuratively).
Agreeing to stay connected in the moment brings us back from the edge of something we can’t handle to something just bearable. The trouble is, this is almost always the worst thing for us. Yes to prioritising ourselves. Yes to channelling our pain toward our own healing. And yes to being ok with giving our ex the finger behind their back because they treated us like shit. It’s ok. We’re allowed to hate them for a bit.
I needed this post when I was in my early 20's. Still loved it and it was such a great read. I was just so desperate to be the cool ex and still be friends. No, we don't need to be friends. We weren't friends before so why do we need to be now? I hope I can pass on this type of wisdom to my nieces when they start dating and going to college because I'm pretty sure I have a binder of bad choices that they could learn from me on and being friends with an ex is definitely in there.
This spoke to me so much. I have a friend who doesn't believe in blocking ex's or going no contact. I don't speak to and have removed contacts of almost every guy where things got intimate and it didn't end well, even if it didn't lead to a relationship. I think these boundaries are extremely important because once someone has wronged you in such a significant manner, they no longer deserve access to you or your life.
Absolutely yes. The closure is coming back to ME :) lol otherwise I believe closure is a myth created by Big Yearning™
i think the not forgiving them and choosing yourself IS the closure, this was so real !!
We very much do not have to be friendly with or about ex's. I'm 42 and friends with 1 ex because we were friends, tried to romance then went back to friends. It was surprisingly easy. The rest can stay the fvck across the Atlantic, i don't need any of them in my life and I don't need to use any of my energy or heartspace on them. I don't think about them at all unless I'm asked a specific question. So yes, I agree. We're much better off giving ourselves that compassion and kindness.
Yes! I think the desire to ‘stay friends’ is almost always driven by wanting to make things hurt less. It’s hard to break contact with someone who has seen you naked (literally and figuratively).
Agreeing to stay connected in the moment brings us back from the edge of something we can’t handle to something just bearable. The trouble is, this is almost always the worst thing for us. Yes to prioritising ourselves. Yes to channelling our pain toward our own healing. And yes to being ok with giving our ex the finger behind their back because they treated us like shit. It’s ok. We’re allowed to hate them for a bit.
I needed this post when I was in my early 20's. Still loved it and it was such a great read. I was just so desperate to be the cool ex and still be friends. No, we don't need to be friends. We weren't friends before so why do we need to be now? I hope I can pass on this type of wisdom to my nieces when they start dating and going to college because I'm pretty sure I have a binder of bad choices that they could learn from me on and being friends with an ex is definitely in there.
This is exactly what I needed right now, just got a text from my ex say sing she had returned my stuff to my house !
This is everything. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
When do you grow and get past this . Live and let live being bitter causes cancer!