This got me thinking about small talk in a new light! Though I do think with small talk it’s easy to fall into a rehearsed rhythm of politeness rather than genuineness, I’m realizing more and more that when it’s done right, connection is built through many smaller moments, not just the deep ones.
It's really easy to say nothing and not connect at all with small talk. I used to make small talk with customers all day and really didn't want to after work. I've made small talk on first dates and told him absolutely nothing about myself, realising it was just the form of conversation. This is different then 'small talk' with my friends. That's like running errands together. I want to know about those little things with them. I guess I'm agreeing with you and adding that it's more nuanced and not all small talk is the same.
"Tell me your favorite color is light green in the summer and dark green in the winter to match the seasons and I’ll hold onto it like a beach shell tucked in a desk drawer." Made me tear up-- what a beautiful comparison!
I have to say, I am deeply intrigued by the notion of needing more "small talk". Probably because I don't really have those girlfriends (or friends at all) that I can be riding passenger in a car with as well all go to get mani pedis. I definitely think I long for small talk because I'm a "small talk" type of person. I will tell you literally every moment of my day because I have no one to tell it to. Often times, I go days without really telling anyone what my day was like and when I am talking to someone and I'm comfortable pouring all of the clogged up days out ans into the open, I get weird looks because I'm rambling to contain it all in... But I'm also a very deep thinker. I think about the patriarchy, why it exists, why it needs to be dismantled. I think about girl bosses and how cool I think they are. I think about how I could talk about one album from this one artist for days, drawing parallels to the artist's life, their friends life, my life, and history's media and present media. I think it's very important to realize that we are just people on a rock. Even though there's not a lot of ways that conversation to go, I think it's important to recognize that just ourselves is very small. I think it's much better to realize that doing something bigger and beyond that of our mind, heart, soul, and body is very interesting to me. I think that a world can be circumferenced in 15 minutes but it can also be circled in 6 hours too. I think thinking of an individuals world as just your immediate vicinity is a very small, close minded way of thinking. I also think it's a realistic way of thinking. I also just think, a lot. So thank you for making me think and I hope you're not too bothered by my rambling haha.
i used to be soooo embarrassed and annoyed as a kid with how my mom would small talk everyone she met in public. now i'm trying to embody her even as it is not at all natural to me, bc sometimes it's pointless to talk about the weather but sometimes it really is a nice little moment of connection with a stranger! and i always love being able to hear the mundane little details of friends days
This got me thinking about small talk in a new light! Though I do think with small talk it’s easy to fall into a rehearsed rhythm of politeness rather than genuineness, I’m realizing more and more that when it’s done right, connection is built through many smaller moments, not just the deep ones.
It's really easy to say nothing and not connect at all with small talk. I used to make small talk with customers all day and really didn't want to after work. I've made small talk on first dates and told him absolutely nothing about myself, realising it was just the form of conversation. This is different then 'small talk' with my friends. That's like running errands together. I want to know about those little things with them. I guess I'm agreeing with you and adding that it's more nuanced and not all small talk is the same.
"Tell me your favorite color is light green in the summer and dark green in the winter to match the seasons and I’ll hold onto it like a beach shell tucked in a desk drawer." Made me tear up-- what a beautiful comparison!
Really love this - and I agree! I feel like the bigger the topic, the more kinda generalised. The small talk is where the details are at
I have to say, I am deeply intrigued by the notion of needing more "small talk". Probably because I don't really have those girlfriends (or friends at all) that I can be riding passenger in a car with as well all go to get mani pedis. I definitely think I long for small talk because I'm a "small talk" type of person. I will tell you literally every moment of my day because I have no one to tell it to. Often times, I go days without really telling anyone what my day was like and when I am talking to someone and I'm comfortable pouring all of the clogged up days out ans into the open, I get weird looks because I'm rambling to contain it all in... But I'm also a very deep thinker. I think about the patriarchy, why it exists, why it needs to be dismantled. I think about girl bosses and how cool I think they are. I think about how I could talk about one album from this one artist for days, drawing parallels to the artist's life, their friends life, my life, and history's media and present media. I think it's very important to realize that we are just people on a rock. Even though there's not a lot of ways that conversation to go, I think it's important to recognize that just ourselves is very small. I think it's much better to realize that doing something bigger and beyond that of our mind, heart, soul, and body is very interesting to me. I think that a world can be circumferenced in 15 minutes but it can also be circled in 6 hours too. I think thinking of an individuals world as just your immediate vicinity is a very small, close minded way of thinking. I also think it's a realistic way of thinking. I also just think, a lot. So thank you for making me think and I hope you're not too bothered by my rambling haha.
Nice work. I like the personal color quietly slipped in there. Peace.
needed this immensely. thank u!
Great piece!
I really vibed with this!
i used to be soooo embarrassed and annoyed as a kid with how my mom would small talk everyone she met in public. now i'm trying to embody her even as it is not at all natural to me, bc sometimes it's pointless to talk about the weather but sometimes it really is a nice little moment of connection with a stranger! and i always love being able to hear the mundane little details of friends days
this is EVERYTHING. i cannot thank you enough.
I would very much like to show you my short piece on small talk, mind if I drop a link?
I totally agree, EXCEPT when it comes to the weather. I feel like we can at least do better than that??