On girls part, we need to detangle from the internalised I have needs and feelings = burden, which leads to repression ending with reactivity and frustration.. on men part, stop dating if you don’t want to know about our feelings nor talk about yours. Feelings are the base of human bonding! Be attentive, be present, check on each other.
I loved this! It’s so true that feeling the desire to be a “chill girl” really stems from a patriarchal system that demands domesticated, complacent women.
This reminds me a lot of when girls talk about their crushes. We are so afraid to show emotion and come off as "desperate." It is "unattractive" for a guy to know when a girl is pinning and that it is better to make him the one to beg for you as the "chill girl" - the only girl who doesn't respond to him. It's sad because I am an emotional and loving person, I always wanted to be with my crush at the library (which I did) or hang out with him after class (which... I did haha). I know girls who do this "chill girl" thing instead of embracing their feelings and experiencing the wonders of what it is to have a crush and take a leap of faith with it by talking to them or anything else.
This has been true for so long, thanks for expressing it so well. And it's sibling - good wife. Support him, look after everything, don't complain, be grateful, be chill, obedient, don't question in public. Neither avenue is worth it. Lol, chill girl was never me. Usually I was called aloof and unapproachable, probably for the best.
🪦 here lies the chill girl
On girls part, we need to detangle from the internalised I have needs and feelings = burden, which leads to repression ending with reactivity and frustration.. on men part, stop dating if you don’t want to know about our feelings nor talk about yours. Feelings are the base of human bonding! Be attentive, be present, check on each other.
As someone who was the “chill girl” for far too long in a relationship this hits home.
Same!
GIIRRLLLLL you said it. you came, conquered and CAPTURED. thank you for seeing the parts in us women that we have been told to hide 🥲
I loved this! It’s so true that feeling the desire to be a “chill girl” really stems from a patriarchal system that demands domesticated, complacent women.
this is great !! I love casual and anything by chappell. you should listen to cool girl by dodie which was inspired by the gone girl monologue <3
i will!! thanks for the rec 💕
Stunning. Love this 🩷
amazing take 💜💌🫶🏻
This reminds me a lot of when girls talk about their crushes. We are so afraid to show emotion and come off as "desperate." It is "unattractive" for a guy to know when a girl is pinning and that it is better to make him the one to beg for you as the "chill girl" - the only girl who doesn't respond to him. It's sad because I am an emotional and loving person, I always wanted to be with my crush at the library (which I did) or hang out with him after class (which... I did haha). I know girls who do this "chill girl" thing instead of embracing their feelings and experiencing the wonders of what it is to have a crush and take a leap of faith with it by talking to them or anything else.
❤️
This has been true for so long, thanks for expressing it so well. And it's sibling - good wife. Support him, look after everything, don't complain, be grateful, be chill, obedient, don't question in public. Neither avenue is worth it. Lol, chill girl was never me. Usually I was called aloof and unapproachable, probably for the best.
I relate to this so much.